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Infinite Monkey Theorem!

by The Thirsty Giants

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1.
2.
Martians 02:25
Martians they are coming down Grey aliens are all around Flying saucers riddle the skies Close encounters of the third kind "Take me to your leader" I don't fucking have one Me and a cow are getting abducted They're shoving a probe right up my rectum They're grey and small and real fuckin mean I'm stuck inside their metal machine "Take me to your leader" Well, I don't fucking have one
3.
I sold my kidney It wasn't for a good cause I sold my kidney It wasn't to replace my pa's I sold my kidney You'll never ever guess what for I sold my kidney Just to buy a lousy old guitar Now I only have one kidney I don't know what the fuck to do Cause I only have one kidney They all call me one kidney Lou I only have one kidney I won't make it very far I only have one kidney But at least I got my lousy old, piece of shit guitar Now I sit around all day And I play the one kidney blues I wrote a letter to my old kidney That said...I miss you
4.
Well, I love you so much That I'll cut off your skin Wear it as mine I'll be your only friend And I love you so much I'll trap you in my well Put the lotion on It'll make your skin so swell Well, I want you to be mine All day and all night Well, I love you so much I'll lock you in my room Put the lotion on It'll make your skin so smooth Love you so much I gotta wear your skin as mine Love you so much I'm gonna watch you die Well, I want you to be inside All day and all night Well, I want you to be mine All day and all night
5.
Into My Mind 04:03
Send me your transmission Your dots and dashes won’t do Speak to me with conviction Scrubbed by the feeds of a few Just white out all of your bylines I want you to sink your teeth into my mind Write me a story to tell Some debauchery will do Give me something good to sell Scrubbed from the feeds of a few  Just white out all of your bylines I just want you to sink your teeth into my mind Send me back to me Living like this just can't be true This can’t be the way to be Only for the fortunate few Just white out all of your bylines Don’t sink your teeth into my mind I said don’t sink your teeth into my mind
6.
Set your hair on fire You need to set your hair on fire You gotta set your hair on fire Burn it all now Set your hair on fire You need to set your hair on fire You gotta set your hair on fire Burn it off now (Its the only good cure for male pattern baldness)
7.
Anna is an anarchist Kill a fascist get a kiss Leather jacket, camo pants Pink hair, tattered vans Patches on patches Dust to dust Lovin is a need But anarchys a must Anna is an anarchist X2 Molotov at a cop Revolution, Coup De'tat Got tattoos on her arm When I'm with her I feel so warm For dinner we're gonna eat the rich Cause she's a fucking anarchist Anna is an anarchist X2 Likes The Vandals and DK Speedin down the freeway She listens to Black Flag Met her at the Speedway She's a punk rocker Like Judy and Sheena A punk rock girl I really really need her Anna is an anarchist X4
8.
I ain't no beach boy no no Well I can't swim If I go to a pool party I won't jump in Because I... I ain't no beach boy X3 I can't swim I ain't no giddy kid X2 I ain't no goody two shoes Son of a bitch I ain't no surfer no no Don't think it'd be nice if we were older I don't wanna be apart of your elation I ain't picking up no good vibrations Because I... I ain't no beach boy X3 I can't swim I ain't no giddy kid X2 I ain't no goody two shoes Surfer Prick I ain't no beach boy X3 No no no no I ain't no beach boy X3 I ain't no fuckin beach boy, baby!
9.
Police State 01:55
I live in a police state We're livin in a police state They follow me all over the place Because I'm...in a police state Turn around tell me what you see Flashing lights in the city streets I see those fuckers everywhere Smell of pigs is in the air Cause I live in a police state We're livin in a police state They'll judge you by your race Because we're...in a police state Lock me up for a gram of weed How many fuckin donuts can you eat You're a power-tripping piece of shit Through your window I'll throw this brick Cause I live in a police state We're livin in a police state Get your pig snout outta my face Because I'm...in a police state
10.
I...I...I... I'm turning in to a centipede I'm turning into a human centipede I'm on my hands and I'm on my knees And baby you don't wanna come near me Cause I'm a fucking freak Oh, I'm shooting up pesticides The worlds filled with bug genocide And baby you think I'm so ugly Cause I'm a human centipede No face and I got no mind I'm a creature of my own kind Baby I wish that I were dead Cause there's bugs inside my head I got a billion eyes and a billion legs I got a billion eyes and a million legs I got a billion eyes and a hundred thousand legs Shut the fuck up and play the chorus already guys

about

The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type any given text, including the complete works of William Shakespeare.

Infinite Monkey Theorem! is The Thirsty Giants second album, including some rerecorded tracks from Don't Grow Old!, now with bass and in better quality.

Recorded in a garage in North Mankato in June of 2023.

credits

released July 14, 2023

Holden Perron- Guitar, Vox, Lyrics, Album Art
David Perron- Drums, Lyrics
Hunter Theisen- Bass, Recording, Production
Sam Brown- Album Art
Jackson Smits- Logo Design

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The Thirsty Giants Mankato, Minnesota

Intergenerational basement punk trio.

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